Get Me An Alka Seltzer

I get this recurring spot on my chin /
That blows up like a fire engine...

Why Aren't I Kissing Beyoncé Knowles?

I don't know what that joke meant /
But I know it was funny and at my expense /
So I'll just laugh and pretend /
I find myself as funny as they do...

Adam Likes You

Oh I'd love to hold your hand through the night /
Pretend to like the things that you like /
I say I love that song by the Artful Dodger /
And invent a robot to serve you vodka...

Crap At The Environment

I might be crap at the environment, my dear /
But before the ice-caps disappear...

Mr Wallis Please

I'll tell you straight /
Your Dad has no manners /
He says I'm a prat /
And looks at me with daggers when you touch my thigh...